A Peculiar Case of Getting Along
by Agent Venom
Summary: Doctor D builds a different kind of -inator, and drags Perry into a weird adventure guest starring a whole new set of villains and heroes. T for God knows what. Slight PxD.
1. Where's oh, never mind!

**Author's Note:**

**There are many reasons you shouldn't upload fanfiction in the middle of the night... spacing, however, was not my fault. Fanfiction killed all of my formatting. Hopefully though, it's fixed now.  
>Thanks for your patience! :D And also, R&amp;R!<br>EDIT:  
>I give up. I'm not allowed to fix the spacing. *cries in corner* <strong>

A small redheaded boy stood in his backyard, brainstorming with his stepbrother.  
>"So we <em>can <em>solve the problem of lack of pressure in open space! Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!"  
>Ferb blinked- good naturedly- and pointed to Baljeet.<br>"Oh right-" The young Indian cleared his throat. "Where-"  
>Buford silenced the nerd and grinned. "Where's Perry?"<br>"_Buford! _I wanted to say it!"

_Doo be doo bee do bah doo be doo bee do bah-_

Perry the Platypus looked up at the viewscreen seriously, watching his boss and the company flunkie squabble cheerfully.  
>"Carl, for the last time you can't replace eggs with paper mache! Ugh. Anyway, Agent P; Doofenshmirtz has been stocking up on thumb drives recently. That can ONLY be PURE evil. Who KNOWS what sinister purposes could he have in store for these... electronic... thumbs..."<br>"Sir, thumb drives aren't actual-"  
>"Carl! What did I tell you about interrupting?"<br>"Sorry sir."  
>"Ugh. Okay, so, Agent P, get over there and put a stop to this. Godspeed!"<br>The agent saluted and dashed off.

_AGENT - P!_

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_

As Doctor D rubbed his hands together with satisfaction, Perry crashed in through a lab window, somersaulting and landing in a defensive position.  
>"Ah, Perry the Platypus! You're right on time! This- this one's a doozy." The scientist grinned. "You see, recently I've been feeling really, how should I say it... lonely! In need of companionship."<br>Perry put his hands on his hips and raised invisible eyebrows. Heinz glanced over at him and rolled his eyes.  
>"Not to say I don't enjoy our time together- I really do. But more and more lately I've been feeling like a girlfriend might be a good idea. So I built this!" He gestured dramatically, and Perry followed the point to a large, standard looking -inator with a platform attatched to it. "The ONE-TRUE-LOVEINATOR!"<br>The agent's eyes widened, and he looked at his nemesis as if to say _Really? Really-really, Heinz?_  
>"Don't give me that look! You know, actually, it's not really even <em>evil <em>per se, and since I didn't have time for a trap I'm just gonna let you slide today. Come over here, I'll show you how it works."  
>Cautiously, the platypus followed the doctor to the control panel situated on the front of the -inator.<br>Heinz placed his hand on a scanning grid, and the two watched the computer take it's information.  
>"You see, Perry the Platypus, when I took a vacation in Druselstein earlier this year, I met a strange gypsy woman who offered to read my palm for just a penny. While she was doing it, she explained about the love line- here," Heinz grabbed Perry's hand and examined it closely. "There- you see that line right there? It branches off of your life-line- well anyway, the position of your love line determines the quality of your love life..." He paused and sighed, glaring off into the distance. "Apparently, I was born without a love line. <em>So <em>I built a machine that takes factors from your other lines- life, spirit, temper and initiative- and translates them all into a love line! Pretty cool, right?"  
>Perry just blinked, so he went on.<br>"Well, after I did that, I built a machine- that's the One-True-Loveinator, right there- that scans the entire tri-state area for someone with the exact same love line as yours! It's genius!"  
>The platypus at Doctor D's feet looked reflective for a moment, and then opened his mouth. He would have asked if he was able to, but the gesture was enough for Heinz to get the question.<br>"Oh- you're probably wondering why I bought all those 10-gig thumb drives, aren't you?"  
>Perry nodded and crossed his arms.<br>"Well normally when building a computer this precise, I use one of my HUGE hard drives that I keep in the back room- but last week someone broke in and stole ALL of my motherboards, so I've been stocking up on extra space. It was necessary."  
><em>Ah. <em>Perry uncrossed his arms and pointed at the machine. _Well?_  
>"I guess I... well, I guess I should test it out now, huh?"<br>The agent shrugged and shifted on his feet. He was curious about what results this would yield- of course, he'd have to dismantle it and return whatever poor soul the doctor brought here with the twisted device- but there was no harm in testing it out. Probably. Maybe.  
>"Alright, well... here goes..." Heinz looked down at his nemesis, one last time. "You know, it feels weird; you just standing there while I fire up some semi-evil machine... huh. Feels kind of nice, actually. For once. Anyway!" He pushed a green button, then a yellow one, and pulled a lever.<br>Light flashed across the laboratory, the machine sputtering and sparking but ultimately holding together.  
>"Here we go..." For the first time that day, the doctor felt nervous, and he started chewing on a thumbnail. Perry just watched with great curiousity and gave the doctor a bemused, affectionate look. It was little moments like this that made both of their days, and the agent felt a little ball of warmth in the depth of his stomach, watching this amazing thing that his ingenius nemesis had created. He almost felt... well, proud.<br>Almost.  
>But at the noise started to die down, a rush of steam obscured their vision of the platform, and both could see only a vague shape crumpled on the panel.<br>Heinz's heart jumped around like a caged tiger, and Perry tensed, ready to spring in and save whatever poor woman was sitting there, unaware of what she'd been dragged into.  
>The fog cleared, and both of them rushed over, then slowed down tentatively as they reached the stairs. Still shaking from excitement, Doctor Doofenshmirtz slowly reached down and touched the form's shoulder. She flinched at the contact, then sat up, facing away from them. The form stretched slowly; stringy muscles creating unrealistic shadows on her arms and what part of her back was showing, and then she turned around.<br>Slitted pupils, a perky, ethnic nose and a small thin mouth in the shape of an 'o' greeted the scientist and his nemesis.  
>"Wha- ha- ha-" She looked at Perry- and screamed.<p> 


	2. Cry, baby

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I apologize. Fanfiction is an ass. A nonintelligent server that doesn't understand the basic need for indentations in my fan fiction chapters. So until I figure out what the hell I can do to fix it, please be patient with me!  
>Thank you! Read &amp; Review! <strong>

"Acute Antidaephobia." Doctor D had his nose in _The Big Book of Fears and Oddities Related to Psychophobia. _"At least, that's the closest thing I can FIND in here..."  
>The victim- from the experiment that had taken place an hour before- sat shivering on the platform pad; exactly where she had started. Perry had the presence of mind to offer a blanket- but the girl had screamed whenever he came near, so they decided it best that Heinz take care of all the interaction from that point on.<br>"It's the fear that- and I quote,-" He pointed at the page. "That somewhere, somehow, a _duck _is  
>watching you."<br>Perry crossed his arms and raised a nonexistent eyebrow. _A fear of being stalked by ducks? Really? That's why snake girl is scared of me?  
><em> "It's not EXACT, Perry the Platypus- you know, it'd be a lot easier if she would TELL us what's..." He paused, ears pricking. So far, there had been no conversation from the huddled form in the -inator, but as Doofenshmirtz rambled, she started making a groaning sound. Two sets of eyes focused on her.  
>Stuttering for a moment, the girl opened her mouth. "I... d-don't like ducks." She shuddered and gave a fearful glance in Perry's direction.<br>_Wow, it speaks. _Heinz scratched his head. "But Perry the Platypus isn't a duck- he's a platypus!"  
>To make a point, Perry chattered his teeth and crossed his arms.<br>Snake-girl continued shivering and shook her head, scooting into an upright position. "I still don't like the looks of him."  
>The agent and the scientist exchanged glances.<br>"Uh, well..." Doofenshmirtz rubbed his neck awkwardly. "That aside; we can't get you back to wherever you came from." He had already explained this to Perry; they agreed that the machine must have gone haywire to bring such an odd girl from God-knows-where, and now it was refusing to work right. "If you gave us your name, maybe some information- you know, an address would be nice."  
>She recoiled, pupils thinning. "I don't want to go back!" She finally stood up wobbily, dropping the blanket and revealing dull grey fatigues. "You... rescued me. If I go back there, very <em>very <em>bad things will happen." Stepping down carefully, the female skirted ten feet around Perry and looked at Doctor D skittishly. "I want to stay here with you."  
>He raised dark eyebrows in surprise. "Wha- with me? But wait- what do you mean <em>bad things<em>?"  
>"I was created for evil purposes, sir. But I don't want to be a part of that, I just want to live in peace." She wrung her hands and looked at him pleadingly.<br>Heinz paused, considering. He looked at her face closely- narrow, colorless pupils in large eyes, snubby nose, thin, chapped and cracking lips surrounded by a wall of dark hair. She was the epitome of creepy, and the more the scientist thought about it, the more he _liked _the idea.  
>"Well... I can't really promise there wont be any evil happening here- I am after all an evil scientist."<br>She shook her head firmly.  
>"No person is as evil as Cry."<br>Perry and Doctor D exchanged worried looks. Both felt a black funk in the backs of their minds.  
>"Who is... 'Cry'?"<br>"It _made _me." She shuddered and hugged herself. "To even think of it..." Shaking her head, the snake girl inched that much closer to the Doctor.  
>"Oookay, changing the subject." Heinz patted her on the shoulder, ever so awkwardly. "You never did tell us your name."<br>"Cry calls me _venenata persona._."  
>"... alright," He looked at her uncertainly. "Well I am Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz, that's Perry the Platypus- he's my nemesis- and... well, this is my lab." He half shrugged, half gestured to the room they were in. "So I guess we'll call you... One!" He looked pleased with himself, and looked to Perry for affirmation.<br>The platypus rolled his eyes and shook his head.  
>"What-? Okay, fine. We'll call her Venom."<br>The girl's eyes lit up; grinning for the first time since initial contact. The smile bared a pair of nasty looking fangs, and Doctor D half dreaded, half delighted in their existence.  
>Then Perry's watched beeped, and all eyes turned toward him.<br>He pushed a button and turned his back, eyes glued to the video screen.  
>Utter chaos showed; Carl the intern was in the background of the footage, fighting an undefinable demonic figure. Monogram stood in the foreground; ever the picture of order.<br>_"Agent P, HQ is being attacked by a band of unexplainably vicious creatures. All agents are being asked to take what little information we have and find the source of this unruly terror. Data is being transmitted as we speak. Abandon Doofenshmirtz; find out what in God's name is going on! Monogram out."  
><em>The image broke into static, and Perry looked up from his watch to see Doctor D hovering over him, looking concerned, horrified and amused all at the same time.  
>"Road trip?" Perry glared and the doctor just grinned. "I'll drive!"<p> 


	3. Shortest chapter Ever

Longly gangly fingers wrapped firmly around the steering wheel, Heinz Doofenshmirtz wailed along with the radio. Strapped into the backseat sat Venom and Perry, who were exchanging many nervous glances. Venom had wanted to ride in the front seat, but Heinz hadn't wanted to draw any attention, and only the back windows were tinted.  
>"Gitchee gitchee goo means that I love yoouuuu!"<br>"Um, Doctor?" Venom mumbled.  
>"Yes?" He kept his eyes glued to the road.<br>"He's making that sound again."  
>Doctor D sighed and rolled his eyes impatiently. "Venom, for the fiftieth time, he's a <em>platypus<em>. They just make that noise."  
>"Deformed duck." She hissed and bared her fangs at the agent, scooting away.<br>"You two will just have to play nice until we get to... uh... where was it we were going again?"  
>Perry sighed, unbuckled and climbed into the front seat. He handed Heinz his GPS and looked out the window, arms crossed.<br>There was silence for a few minutes as the radio hummed quietly, farmhouses and cornfields whizzing past the windows of Doofenshmirtz's crud-colored Volvo.  
>The three sat in silence, watching the scenery- when Venom gasped from the back seat.<br>"Doctor! Tha- that's-"  
>The GPS beeped at the exact same moment, and Heinz slammed on the brakes, shaking Perry out of his already-too-big seat belt.<br>"Sorry Perry the Platypus, this thing needs some kind of warning system, like it's just saying STOP out of nowhere, I can't really slow down in time- hey, wait for me!"  
>Perry had already flung the door open and was jogging down the road, eyeballing a slumping, grey-ish barn back behind some dead evergreens.<br>Heinz started getting out of the car, then looked back and saw Venom shivering in the back seat.  
>"What's wrong?" He paused next to her window. "Still have the platypus aversion?"<br>Even paler than she was before, the hybrid shook her head and pointed to the barn.  
>"What- you're scared of barns too?"<br>"Doctor... that's my h- where it..." She blinked and froze. "You and the platypus... you're not going in there, are you?"  
>"Well that was the plan..."<br>She shivered and shook her head.  
>"If you go in there... you wont come back out."<br>"Uh..." That worried the scientist. But nothing quelled morbid curiosity, so he promised he would be careful, locked the car and followed Perry.  
>Storm clouds rolled across the sky and begat an ominous darkness.<p> 


End file.
